The serious and sometimes satirical reflections of a priest, poet, and pilgrim — who knowing he has not obtained the goal, presses on in a Godward direction.
December 7, 2011
Maxim 20111207
Anyone unwilling to live with tension is unworthy of marriage.
Marriages do end, of course, sometimes when one partner cannot possibly tolerate what the other one believes to be of no major consequence to their spouse.
Tobias, I know. And if some Provinces genuinely cannot cope with what others do, although it doesn't affect them at all, then the Anglican marriage has to end, whether it does so by means of objecting Provinces leaving or innocent spouses being kicked out.
It would be a sad outcome but it could also be a liberating one.
There's a wonderful line in an old Paul Simon song that goes "So goodbye, goodbye. I'm gonna leave you now, and here's the reason why: I like to sleep with the window open, and you keep the window closed, so goodbye, goodbye, goodbye."
Comments on marriage frequently remind me of this Ogden Nash poem. In graduate school, we performed this set to Anglican chant.
“We Don't Need to Leave Yet, Do We? Or, Yes We Do"
One kind of person when catching a train always wants to allow an hour to cover the ten-block trip to the terminus, And the other kind looks at them as if they were verminous, And the second kind says that five minutes is plenty and will even leave one minute over for buying the tickets, And the first kind looks at them as if they had cerebral rickets. One kind when theater-bound sups lightly at six and hastens off to the play, And indeed I know one such person who is so such that it frequently arrives in time for the last act of the matinee, And the other kind sits down at eight to a meal that is positively sumptuous, Observing cynically that an eight-thirty curtain never rises till eight-forty, an observation which is less cynical than bumptious. And what the first kind, sitting uncomfortably in the waiting room while the train is made up in the yards, can never understand, Is the injustice of the second kind's reaching their scat just as the train moves out, just as they had planned, And what the second kind cannot understand as they stumble over the first kind's heel just as the footlights flash on at last Is that the first kind doesn't feel the least bit foolish at having entered the theater before the cast. Oh, the first kind always wants to start now and the second kind always wants to tarry, Which wouldn't make any difference, except that each other is what they always marry.” ― Ogden Nash
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I've always enjoyed the definition: "Marriage is just something two people go through together."
ReplyDeleteAnyone unwilling to live with tension is unworthy of life.
ReplyDeleteThanks to both for further thought... T.
ReplyDeleteNot so much unworthy of marriage, as incapable of it.
ReplyDeleteYes, Robert... that was my thought. Something best not attempted without a store of charity and a forgiving heart.
ReplyDeleteMarriages do end, of course, sometimes when one partner cannot possibly tolerate what the other one believes to be of no major consequence to their spouse.
ReplyDeleteIt is not wrong for those marriages to end.
True, Erika. Note that this maxim was really about the Anglican Covenant...
ReplyDeleteTension is like stress, to much for to long breaks things while trying to entirely avoid it destroys one's health.
ReplyDeleteTobias,
ReplyDeleteI know. And if some Provinces genuinely cannot cope with what others do, although it doesn't affect them at all, then the Anglican marriage has to end, whether it does so by means of objecting Provinces leaving or innocent spouses being kicked out.
It would be a sad outcome but it could also be a liberating one.
There's a wonderful line in an old Paul Simon song that goes "So goodbye, goodbye. I'm gonna leave you now, and here's the reason why: I like to sleep with the window open, and you keep the window closed, so goodbye, goodbye, goodbye."
ReplyDeleteThanks, Peter. I'll add that to my marriage counseling kit!
ReplyDeleteComments on marriage frequently remind me of this Ogden Nash poem. In graduate school, we performed this set to Anglican chant.
ReplyDelete“We Don't Need to Leave Yet, Do We? Or, Yes We Do"
One kind of person when catching a train always wants to allow an hour to cover the ten-block trip to the terminus,
And the other kind looks at them as if they were verminous,
And the second kind says that five minutes is plenty and will even leave one minute over for buying the tickets,
And the first kind looks at them as if they had cerebral rickets.
One kind when theater-bound sups lightly at six and hastens off to the play,
And indeed I know one such person who is so such that it frequently arrives in time for the last act of the matinee,
And the other kind sits down at eight to a meal that is positively sumptuous,
Observing cynically that an eight-thirty curtain never rises till eight-forty, an observation which is less cynical than bumptious.
And what the first kind, sitting uncomfortably in the waiting room while the train is made up in the yards, can never understand,
Is the injustice of the second kind's reaching their scat just as the train moves out, just as they had planned,
And what the second kind cannot understand as they stumble over the first kind's heel just as the footlights flash on at last
Is that the first kind doesn't feel the least bit foolish at having entered the theater before the cast.
Oh, the first kind always wants to start now and the second kind always wants to tarry,
Which wouldn't make any difference, except that each other is what they always marry.”
― Ogden Nash
Excellent, Paul. Nash is an underestimated treasure.
ReplyDelete