January 5, 2008

Following yonder Star...

Saturday Seasonal Satire

We three kings of Orient are,
and we’ve traveled awfully far,
wending, walking, ranging, riding
following that darn star.
O—oh! Gosh my feet hurt, and my bum,
saddle-sore and nearly numb;
blisters bleeding,
Got some aspirin? Give me some!

Aspirin’s mine, I’ll give you a few,
take with water, take only two;
it’ll stop your back from aching
as it’s supposed to do.
O—oh! How far is it that we’ve gone,
daylight’s coming, almost dawn,
travel’s dreary
when I’m weary,
pardon, while I stretch and yawn.

Coffee’s mine, I’ll give you a sip,
percolated, pressed or drip.
Sorry I can’t do espres-
so — no macchina on this trip.
O—oh! How I miss my latte tall,
cappucino large or small,
I’m insistent
it’s not instant,
better brewed or not at all!

Wait, I see a sign up ahead,
and I’m glad ’cause I’m almost dead,
green the logo, it’s no no-go,
yonder I see a Star-
bu—ucks! Goad the camel and the mare,
quickly now we’re almost there.
Call a priest or
a barista
either one, I just don’t care.

Tobias Haller

December 30, 2007


June Butler said...

Tobias! And you a poet! Beneath doggerel, but too funny. Thanks for the Epiphany morning laugh.

Tobias Stanislas Haller BSG said...

GM, thanks for the review. I'd say it was slightly above doggerel but not so high as caterwaul. ;-)

Paul said...

Having just sung that thudding chorus too slowly at the end of Mass, I am delighted with your version. Lifted my spirits on a very gray rainy day.

Jane R said...

Love it!

Between this and Adventus's reflection, I am well fed for the day.

Anonymous said...

In the midst of all the smoke, we didn't sing the original version of this today. So it was nice to come home to your 21st century referenced version.

Will the schola be singing this version when next we retreat?


KJ said...


"We Three King" was our processional carol this morning, and even with choir singing, organ (magnificent) playing, and my torch bearing, I couldn't help but think about all the fun we've all had at the expense of this song. Perhaps it's time to let it retire. :-)

However, it is included in a beautiful Epiphany CD recently released by St. Mark's Cathedral, Seattle, so I guess it's not going anywhere, any time soon.

RFSJ said...


Very nice! what's next? Once in Royal David's City, perhaps? :-)


susan s. said...

Love your version, Tobias.

We sang 'We Three Kings' as offertory hymn. Our children kings processed with their gifts(actually the elements and collection plates) and then those of us who felt inclined went forward and lit candles symbolizing our gifts of time and monetary offerings for the work of the church. It was something we had never done before. Will it become a tradition? Who knows, but it was effective this morning.

Country Parson said...

I loved this version and wish I'd seen it before our Epiphany pageant. I wonder what would have happened if the choir had stuck in a verse or two of your version in between the procession of wise men coming up the aisle.

Anonymous said...

A man of many talents!

This is a hoot ... LOVE IT!

Erin said...