February 1, 2022

I saw heaven

 I saw heaven in a dream the other night.

In heaven, everyone is 22,
and they all wear Hawaiian shirts
and Bermuda shorts
and go barefoot.

They are very happy,
standing and chatting
like guests at a massive cocktail party.

There is only one bathroom in heaven,
but that alright
because no one needs to go,
and if they did,
they'd always let someone else go in ahead of them.

I saw that everyone was in heaven,
even Hitler and Jack the Ripper,
because when they arrived
at the throne of judgment,
and saw what they had done,
and Jesus turned to them and said,
“I forgive you,”
they were so overcome
that they were completely transformed.

I heard the Hitler spends most of his time
washing the feet of twenty-somethings
who in this life were killed at Auschwitz at his orders
— not that their feet need washing
but because they enjoy it so much,
and when he tickles their feet —
— what laughter!

A woman turned to me and said,
“I saw Satan the other day;
he keeps going up to everyone
and saying, 
‘Can I get you anything?’”

—Tobias Stanislas Haller BSG

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